The Joy Tuck Club
A podcast that celebrates the diversity and beauty of transgender identities and expressions.
How well do you truly understand the vibrant spectrum of transgender identities? Get ready to challenge and expand your perspectives as we share personal stories, debunk myths, share news, and provide helpful insights, advice on transitioning, and tips on being a better ally.
The Joy Tuck Club
Balls in a Mason Jar
Have you ever wondered about the journey of transition, or have questions about it that you're afraid to ask? We're Red and Freckles, your trans agony aunts, ready to address your queries, thoughts, and concerns. Join us as we set the stage to celebrate the diversity and beauty of being trans, and shed light on every facet of the transition journey – from hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to changing your name and beyond.
In a serious exploration of the struggles faced by trans individuals in the UK, we share heart-rending stories of daunting wait times at gender identity clinics, and how the healthcare system is falling short. Meanwhile, shining a ray of hope, we discuss Beyonce's empowering support for the trans community and the unique Seahorse Parents Project, a beautiful tribute to heavily pregnant transgender parents, and share the curious tale of a mason jar used in an unusual way. We even touch upon our highly anticipated book 'How to Transition' – a comprehensive guide that aims to answer all your queries, and more, about transitioning. So listen in, share your stories, and join us on our quest to foster understanding and acceptance of trans identities.
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Visit The Joy Tuck Club online at redandfreckles.com for transcripts, commentary, community, news, and much, much more.
Meanwhile, you can always find red+freckles (Rachel & Phoebe) on
Twitter/X: @twodamptrans
Instagram: @twodamptrans
and
Bluesky: @twodamptrans.bsky.social
The Joy Tuck Club is written, produced, and edited by red+freckles, of Two Damp Trans Ltd, UK.
Gee Red what are we going to do tonight?
Rachel:Same thing we do every night Try to take over the world.
Phoebe:Well, start the episode.
Rachel:Hello and welcome to the first ever episode of the Joy Tuck Club, a podcast that celebrates the diversity and beauty of transgender identities and expressions. I'm Rachel and with me is my co-host, the beautiful Phoebe. We're also known as Red and Freckles and are the team behind two damp trans. Say hello, phoebe.
Phoebe:Hello, it's lovely to be here.
Rachel:It's really fun to be here.
Phoebe:It is. I'm so excited to be doing this with you Me too.
Rachel:So what are we actually doing?
Phoebe:Well, the Joy Tuck Club is a podcast by trans people for trans people.
Rachel:Right. Each episode we'll do a deep dive on the trans topics such as HRT, changing your name or how transitioning can alter your sexuality.
Phoebe:We're also going to have a segment on trans news, but as most of the news is rather gloomy these days, we're going to try and pick stories that are inspiring, uplifting and sometimes a little bit humorous.
Rachel:Yep and in addition to that we're going to bring you interviews with the trans community and special guests.
Phoebe:And finally, we're here to be your trans agony aunts, aiming to answer any questions you may have about transitioning Okay.
Rachel:So maybe we should introduce ourselves a little bit. So tell me about yourself.
Phoebe:Phoebe. Oh, I'm totally unprepared for this. How fun have I talked about myself?
Rachel:Give me your heart, just give me your bio.
Phoebe:Okay, I'm Phoebe DeMaurier. That's my chosen name and soon to be a legal name. Oh, that'll be fun announcement. I started transitioning medically in December 2021. When I took my first HRT, I was living in the United States at the time and now, of course, I live in the United Kingdom. I'm from Australia originally and I knew I was trans since my earliest memories, my earliest dreams. It just took me a very long time as it does for many to get the other parts of life out of the way. Well, frankly, I arrived at a point where, if I didn't transition, then there wouldn't be any other parts to life, and so now I'm here, incredibly happy to be myself. I'm glad you are here.
Rachel:And what about you? Well, I'm Rachel, rachel Fishwick, and I Knew I was different. I wouldn't say I knew I was trans, but I knew I was different from about the age of six. In my teenage years I thought about transitioning, but it still wasn't a massive thing then and Eventually it took me best part of 40 years to actually Realize that I was trans and I could do something about it. And I came out just before COVID, which was fun, yeah, yeah.
Phoebe:So here I am. I think it's funny too that, depending on your perspective, some people might call this late transition. As you know, you're in your 40s.
Phoebe:I Right, just after I turned, just in my 40s, just in your 40s putting it onto my 40s Me just after I turned 50 but it doesn't feel like that at all because it's the start of a whole new life and, of course, we both went through Our own tupities yeah, still ongoing. We'll talk about that at some point. Why is it ever end? Oh, the stories. And it's actually a new beginning. There's no such thing as being a late transitioner. There's always just you're at the start of what, for nearly everyone, turns out to be an incredible journey.
Rachel:It's never too late to transition. That was. That was one thing. I thought I'd missed the boat. Yeah, you know, I think by the, by the time I kind of came around to the idea that I was trans, I thought, well, it's too late now. There's no, no, there's no point like that. I thought it was something you needed to do Before your first puberty, or at least straight afterwards, when your body was more receptive to hormonal changes. But that is absolutely not true. Absolutely not true. It's never too late to transition.
Phoebe:Yeah, and you can in some ways have the best of both worlds. Yes, one of my best friends is a Transmask who, you know, also has a full family and is now a fantastic father to four kids and you know, we seen stories circulating in the GC world, these assumptions that we all must be sterile or something. Well, it's also being a danger to everyone, of course, but the fact is, we're just normal people who live normal lives, and the effort to normalize ourselves, with our bodies and our mind, is the process of transition.
Rachel:Well said.
Phoebe:Thanks.
Rachel:So that's enough about us individually, but I mentioned at the top of the podcast that we are known as Red with Reckles and the team behind Two Damped Trans Phoebes. Why don't you tell us a little bit about what that actually means?
Phoebe:All right. So this podcast is just one of a three pillar approach that we're taking to trying to do good things for the trans community. Two Damped Trans is a company we've started that has different branches. One of them, red and Freckles, is a publisher for trans voices, because trans voices matter, trans lives matter, trans bodies matter, trans hormones matter, trans creators matter and there are avenues for trans people to be heard. But the more we are heard, the better it is for our community as a whole. As you've often said to me, we don't get anywhere by being silent, and I know you and I both talked as well about the need to be visible. Yes, for many of us there's a goal to pass and sort of seamlessly integrate into our genders in society, but some of us don't actually want that so much. Some of us want to be out there loud and proud.
Rachel:Yeah, I for one am a proud trans woman. Yeah, you know I will never shy away from that label. I don't particularly like labels, but you know I'm a trans advocate just by being seen and been myself. Yes, and I love being trans. Yeah, yeah, I loved it. I've kind of led these two lives and walked between worlds. It just made me who I am.
Phoebe:Yeah.
Rachel:And I wouldn't ever want to change that.
Phoebe:Yeah, so we want to create a platform for other people as well, to have their voices heard.
Rachel:So hang on. Let's just backtrack a bit. Why Red and Freckles? Where's that come from? Who are Red and Freckles? Do you want me to explain?
Phoebe:this yes, please, yeah, yes.
Rachel:Well as Phoebe allied to in her little bio that she did. She's from Australia but she's also had a very pop culture sheltered lifestyle. Is that fair? Perfectly fair so we met little under a year ago. It's nearly a year we've been together. It is A fateful night in Soho, but we won't get into that right now. And it soon became clear that Phoebe was popular culture stunted in many ways.
Rachel:So we've been catching up on all of the TV programs that Phoebe has missed, and one of the particular favorites to be going to was Lost, and I don't know if anyone knows Lost. You should probably should, because you're not all like Phoebe. But there's a character in Echoed Sawyer who likes to give people nicknames, and the character of Kate he calls Freckles, and there was a character in there as well with red hair, and he called her red, and Phoebe has Freckles. I have red hair, so we now refer to each other as Red and Freckles. Indeed, one of our nightly rituals is to say good night to each other.
Phoebe:Yeah, good night, yeah, good night, freckles yeah.
Rachel:So that's where Red and Freckles has come from. But what about two damp trans? Where did that come from?
Phoebe:Okay, so we're quite outdoorsy, no matter the weather, and there was one very famous time it wasn't outdoors and sense of climbing a mountain. You know we've been there but and plan to again and again. This was simply walking up the road through a town in Kent and getting repeatedly soaked through both a downpour from above but also by the accumulated water in the road from the cars and trucks going by throwing water Well, soaking us from the side. And we got to the end of that walk, which was a few miles, and realized we were deliriously happy. We squelched our way into the store, a clothing store.
Rachel:I remember, I think we were looking for a beanie. We were looking for hats Hats, because it was just on the lead into winter, wasn't it?
Phoebe:Yeah, yeah.
Rachel:So we were looking for hats. Yeah yeah, I think I came away with a rather nice green wrap dress.
Phoebe:Well, that's what happens, isn't it Like you go out to buy I don't know a bag of potatoes and come back with a beautiful dress? Yeah?
Rachel:So that's how we're Red and Freckles and Two Damped Trans. So we're on our own Most socials, we are at Two Damped Trans and we're actually turning that into almost like our brand to support what we're trying to do. Yes, and when we came together, we realized we both had a common need to try and give something back to our community. And this is the start of that. Yeah, we both recognize as you probably will will that the trans community is quite fractured and isolated and there's a need for some way to bring us all together the pooling of information, social events, anything like that. Well said, and this is the start of that. Yeah, hopefully.
Phoebe:And we're not certain all the ways that it's going to evolve, of course.
Rachel:We're not experts at podcasting and can you tell yeah. I probably shouldn't have said that, because we're so slick.
Phoebe:Rolling that segue. And there's the background music and the transition. Oh, that was beautiful. Well done production team.
Rachel:So currently we're sitting at a dining room table and what we lovingly refer to is the little flat on the top floor, which is the tiniest little flat, but we like it. We do yeah. So that's, that's our headquarters basically and we'll be quarters basically and we'll be transmitting from here on a biweekly schedule. Is that what we're planning for? It's very by very, by potentially pan weekly.
Phoebe:Yeah.
Rachel:Okay.
Phoebe:We also have a telescope here, so we may get distracted from time to time.
Rachel:Yes.
Phoebe:Yeah.
Rachel:Yeah, we'll try and limit the the telescope talk and the trig point talk. Okay, I think that section's covered off nicely. I think we should have a little jingle to go into the trans news.
Phoebe:Okay, trans news just in Custard coffee. No, that's not that's. That's the story that belongs. What? Two years ago? But they only just picked up on it.
Rachel:Yeah, okay, so we're going to do a intro to this. Yes, literally like explaining this. So we pull all the trans news. We've got an alert set up for trans news. We wade through the swamp of hatred, so you don't have to and try and pick out the important stories, yeah, and the lighthearted stories and the positive stories while also not falling back on a supplier Valium and Prozac.
Phoebe:Yeah, yeah so was that the intro? What?
Rachel:do I need to redo that.
Phoebe:No, I think that's good.
Rachel:Okay.
Phoebe:All right Okay.
Rachel:So crashing on with trans news.
Phoebe:Okay, let's turn to the NHS. Whilst this podcast will be looking at different countries around the world, we're in the UK and the NHS is making trans people's lives a misery, and has been doing so for quite some time. So forget puberty blockers. The NHS has turned transitioning into a retirement project with 22 year wait times at the GIC. That's the gender identity clinics.
Rachel:Yeah, so this is a story where a freedom of information request has revealed that trans people in the UK are facing wait times of up to 35 years for NHS gender affirming care. Now, this is. This is something that I can speak about, because I myself have been on the waiting list for the NHS gender identity clinic since I came out in February 2020.
Phoebe:Uh-huh, so they didn't book you an appointment for the week after and say you're in, let's get this, let's get this board.
Rachel:No, no, unfortunately they didn't. We're in the south-east of England and for those of you who don't know, the way it works in the UK is, if you want any kind of gender-affirming care from the NHS, you have to go through the gender identity clinic, of which there are few, and the one in the south is London and it's a very popular clinic and I think that's where these waiting times come from. So you have to go to your GP and he will, or they will, refer you to the clinic and then you wait and you just wait. Obviously, covid put a massive spike in the waiting times and they're just not set up to deal with the monthly referrals. We've got it down here that the number of people on the waiting list is 13,315. The number of referrals received in the month is 372 and the number of first appointments offered is just 51. So that's first appointments out of the 372 referrals they're getting through 51.
Phoebe:So this is the opposite of staying on top of it. This is about as behind as you could possibly get. They're never going to get on top of this waiting list.
Rachel:No.
Phoebe:I know the NHS has some plan to restructure the gender clinics, but that also doesn't have a start date, does it?
Rachel:No.
Phoebe:They're going to open up lots of smaller ones to replace Tavistock, for example, in London, but it's not happening.
Rachel:But I just would like to add that this is something I only learned recently is no matter where you are in the UK, you can apply to any of the clinics. Oh, so Apply to the mall and hope. Oh no, I don't think you can apply to multiple. Oh, I see, but I believe the Nottingham Clinic has the shortest waiting list, so you can apply to the Nottingham one. I think it's three or four years for first appointments, as opposed to the Tavistock that you mentioned in London.
Rachel:Yeah, which is decades waiting list. Don't think because you're in London that you can't go to Nottingham, or you can apply to any of them. Obviously you will have to go there. I don't know, they might actually do virtual ones now after Covid, because that's become a thing, but I'd imagine you'd need to travel up there at some point.
Phoebe:So what do you do in the UK? And I should explain that I'm actually self-medicating, yes, currently. I started off in the US, in Connecticut, where it was fairly easy for me to get first of all referral letters and then prescriptions, and now I've continued just organizing my HRT from sources overseas rather than going through any private or government clinic. But what are the other options for people here?
Rachel:Well, in the UK you can, obviously, absolutely. I would recommend anyone who started out in their transition to get on that waiting list for the GIC, because if you can get stuff through the NHS, it takes a while but you can get it. And you can get surgeries. You can eventually get surgery, yeah, but you can get hormones that I believe they will do voice training, they will do electrolysis and laser. You can get all those things but it takes time, so you need to get on that. But if you can't wait and if you can afford to do it, there are numerous private companies and that's the route that I went down.
Rachel:I went with one called Gender Care. There's also one called Gender GP and there's a third one in London that I can't remember the name of. But yeah, they are out there and they're waiting times, months rather than years. I think I waited three months to see a psychologist, got a diagnosis of gender dysphoria and then it was another couple of months after that I saw my endocrinologist. So I was quite lucky that after coming out of February, I think it was September I know it was September because I know the exact date and time that I first applied my HRT gel. Yeah, so it was from February to September. I got on to hormones.
Rachel:Right but that was because I'm lucky enough to be able to afford to go privately, and I know that's not an option for a lot of people. Yes, and I'm also lucky in the fact that my GP will do shared care. So although I've gone private to see an endo, all of my prescriptions I get through the NHS. So my endocrinologist does a letter. I have blood tests done every three months. They then go off to my endocrinologist who will then write a letter of recommendation to adjust my dose, which he hasn't done for the last three blood tests because my levels are stable, where they should be. But he will recommend to my GP and my GP is then happy to prescribe on the advice from this endocrinologist. So I'm actually lucky enough to get my prescriptions through the NHS, even though I haven't been seen by the gender identity clinic. So that's that.
Phoebe:That is yeah, yeah, but maybe we can talk in the next podcast more about the different options that are available absolutely everywhere. Yeah, and also just to follow on in this news piece. So the NHS has said that it's working to reduce weight times, but it's unclear how long this will take. They have the outline of plan. It doesn't have a start date and they haven't made any progress.
Rachel:Well, I think, given the attitude of the current government, there's no real rush to shake up the trans healthcare system to actually enable more people to transition. I think they probably want the opposite. Yeah, and they're quite happy for these weight times and these lists to grow.
Phoebe:Yeah.
Rachel:Because, hey, the longer it takes, the less likely people are to transition, and you know we're a blight on society. Yes, according to the government.
Phoebe:Well, so under the next story and I have a question for you, rachel- yes. If you had an orky, what would you want to do with the removed objects?
Rachel:You know I've thought long and hard about this.
Phoebe:Not Orky to explain is the removal of the testes.
Rachel:Yeah, yes. Well, probably the one thing I wouldn't want to do is to pop them in a jar in the fridge.
Phoebe:Right, well, I mean you could. What if your relative, your mum, came over and mistook them for some pickled plums, pickled eggs, pickled?
Rachel:warnuts or something.
Phoebe:But someone did that didn't, they did.
Rachel:Yeah, this is. This is a story that Featured in one of our favorite publications, the Daily Mail, who are so pro trans is unbelievable. And this is this is that? The headline was a transgender Muslim soothes her boyfriend for keeping her testicles In a jar in the fridge. I mean, that brings a whole new meaning to telling a lawyer to go for their balls.
Phoebe:So she's suing her ex-boyfriend, william Wajahowski, for the return of no, no, no, no, wajahowski Wajahowski. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did I say? Watch it. Oh wait, for the return of her surgically removed testicles, which she alleges he is keeping in a mason jar in his refrigerator. They were moved as part of her gender transition. Wajahowski denies the allegations, but also says that he is keeping them.
Rachel:He just admitted it.
Phoebe:That says that she's harassing him.
Rachel:Just to add a bit of context to this, the woman in question posted a TikTok video in April 2022 titled the the Unboxing of D's nuts, in which she playfully addresses her gender transition, and the video features the AC DC song big balls and depicts her interacting with a box that reportedly contains her surgically removed testicles. So if anyone's got any suggestions for what other songs she could have used, that maybe DMS, oh no so Going off-peast a bit, ac DC, where I'm from in Australia, is known as a kodak a yeah.
Phoebe:Yeah, and doesn't it have a line? I have the biggest balls of them all. Everyone comes to see my big balls. That's sort of how it goes.
Rachel:I'm not familiar with the song.
Phoebe:Oh, okay, well, I can just see her.
Rachel:Great balls of fire.
Phoebe:She could have lit them.
Rachel:Yeah, yeah that would have been good, yeah, yeah, but what? What else could she have done with them?
Phoebe:on top of old smoky. Put them on some spaghetti. Oh.
Rachel:Oh, I remember that juggling earrings. Yeah, your balls hang low.
Phoebe:You know that one.
Rachel:Yes, okay, I think we should move swiftly on to the next story. We have a very positive story next. This is a little bit old news because I will say we've been looking to record this podcast for probably a couple of weeks now. Yeah, so, but also since we first did this rough script, there's been very little in the way of positive trans stories, so that's why we're being grim as heck. Harking back to this one and it is Beyonce declares trans is beautiful, much to Laverne Cox's delight.
Phoebe:So she was performing at the MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey, and during the show she saw a sign held up by trans drag performer Candice persuasion that said quote trans is beautiful. Beyonce read the sign and said the phrase out loud.
Rachel:What was Laverne Cox's reaction to that? Because she was. She was the one that started that. Trans is beautiful hashtag in 2015.
Phoebe:She did, and of course I assume everyone knows who Laverne Cox is. She came to prominence, I think, in orange is the new black, orange is the new black.
Rachel:She's such a goddess and such a transpiration, a transfer our first trans person first transpiration. Yeah, if you had a drink, we would toast her. Laverne Cox.
Phoebe:Yes indeed, don't clink, but only pirates do right only pirates clink. So she posted this on her Instagram and Said it meant such a lot to see Beyonce spreading the message of trans acceptance and said she may have cried a little, which is just lovely, yeah.
Rachel:And thank Beyonce for her support. And others said her statement was an important step towards trans acceptance and it is important for someone as high profile as Beyonce to come out and do something like that is yeah, it's really amazing. Yeah, you know we're not going anywhere. Yeah, we will not be beaten.
Phoebe:No, can't stop trans people from happening. We just happened Now onto onto a lovely story about the Seahorse parents project. Seahorse parents is a photography and film project that showcases heavily pregnant transgender parents underwater, and it's a bit difficult to even describe how beautiful these photographs are. We're going to put the link up on the socials and You've really got to take a look. The the lighting is gorgeous. The the nature of its celebration is sublime.
Rachel:They're very powerful photos. I you know, when I, when I first saw this, I I actually put a link up on my twitter. Sorry, x and not Twitter, I just just dead named twitter there. I dead named X. Oh, my goodness, stop it. Yeah, I shared it on my, on my socials and, yeah, we'll, we'll absolutely put a link up to it, and it's. They're really beautiful pictures. Yeah and really positive.
Phoebe:Yeah, yeah, they feature four transgender men who are pregnant, and the photographer was Miriam Gutsman. Nice yeah absolutely gorgeous, was exhibited in Amsterdam in 2022. I would have loved to have seen it.
Rachel:So that's it for the news this week.
Phoebe:That is it for the new. Hopefully, there'll be more good news to share over the next couple of weeks. Meanwhile, one of the reasons for the existence of this podcast is for us to interview other trans people, and that has two purposes. Number one is that we are currently writing a book how to Transition. It will be out next year and the interviews will serve as informed sources for the book and tales real tales of us out in the wild, yeah, tales that are inspirational. Trans people that are inspirational, hence transpirational.
Rachel:Yes, you mentioned me right in the book how to Transition and it's really an idea that we both came up with.
Rachel:We first met and there's a real difficulty for the not just the newly transitioning person, but even if you've been transitioning for a while there's no one place to go to get your information on important stuff and like basic stuff.
Rachel:So basically, we want to give something back to the community and we're trying to plug that hole with this book. Hopefully it will be a comprehensive guide gleaned from lived experiences of people like you listening to this podcast. We want your stories, we want to know everything about how you found your transition so we could pass that knowledge on to all those uncracked eggs. So we've come up with a list of questions and we will post this on our socials and you can DM us the answers. Or, if you'd rather, I mean we would love to actually talk to you in person. So if you want to do an interview with us, then get in touch, dm us, we'll give you the proper handles and we would love to talk to you, and the more people we can talk to, the further we can cast our net, the better this guide will be.
Phoebe:Yeah, yeah, that's it. We'll also be interviewing professionals in the field and surgeons, and more actually.
Rachel:Hopefully we'll cover everything from. I feel like we almost need to read the back cover Exactly. I can get it here. You got it. Ok. Fabes, do you want to just give us a quick synapsis of what the book will cover?
Phoebe:Yes, how the transition will become. Your essential guide is based on interviews with dozens of transgender people, both MTF and FDM, and renowned medical professionals. It's practical advice distilled from the lived experience of the global trans community, extensively peer reviewed, filled with inspiring stories and constantly updated via its companion website. In fact, we're doing a whole new technology behind this book that we'll go into at some point. Yes, they'll keep it updated online and actually in its print and e-books forms.
Rachel:We've written this book because we know from personal experience and our own transitions that navigating the pathways of transition can be daunting and confusing. This book will help you become the person you know you are, with advice from coming out, to going out Shaked hair, to new hair, a charge to surgery.
Rachel:And much, much more. Oh, I love it, I love it. That's a wrap for this episode of the Joy Tuck Club. We want to give a massive thank you to you, our listeners if we have any listeners at the moment for tuning in and for being part of our community. If you want to connect with us further, please visit our website, and that is the Joy Tuck Club, or OneWordcom, where you can find probably not right now, but in the future show notes, resources, transcripts and more. You can also follow us on Twitter or X, instagram and Blue Sky, where you can find us on all of those platforms. At 2damptrans that's all words, no numbers. It's T-W-O-D-A-M-P-T-R-A-N-S 2damptrans, and don't forget to subscribe and rate us on Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts. We appreciate your feedback and support and until next time, remember you are valid, you are beautiful and you are transcending boundaries.
Rachel:Thank you, thanks, bye.
